Dec 05 2013

The moment the whole world froze!!!

Published by at 6:24 pm under Uncategorized

As rain hits the ground like a lashing whip, Tom and John race to their house on the hill. When they got home, they called to their parents. Hastily they approached their parents bedroom. Surprised and shocked, they  froze! As they saw a tall scrawny figure slide out of the window carrying their mother and father!!! They shot off like an soaring arrow; dashing like the wind.  Finally, they caught up with the horrific monster, the rain was now at it’s hardest, it was as loud as a blowing horn. Suddenly he turned and then the noise stopped, the rain stopped falling; the whole world froze…

2 responses so far

2 Responses to “The moment the whole world froze!!!”

  1. Mr Baggeon 05 Dec 2013 at 6:35 pm

    Ok you have got me. I want to know who is this tall scrawny figure who is strong enough to carry both parents? Why does his turn freeze the world? What does he look like? I demand a second paragraph at least.

  2. Mrs Hunkinon 05 Dec 2013 at 10:24 pm

    Wow ! I love the descriptive language you have used ! I am going to share this with my class tomorrow and see if they can magpie some of your fantastic openers ! Keep writing !

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