It was 10 oclock in the morning when I woke up and got out of my bed to go and get my breakfast. “Ahh”!! I saw an enormous furry FIFTY mm black SPIDER at the top of the stairs. I went and told my mum (she was fast asleep).My mum woke up with a jump, and she put her sparkling WHITE glasses on. “Look, look mum” Sophie’s mum screamed with astonishment. “What ever you do don’t touch it because it’s… poisons”. Sophie slipped and PUSHED the SPIDER down the stairs. Sophie’s mum CAREFULLY got a jar and picked up the SPIDER. “ lets keep him to show grandad”.
great work loved punchuation
- owen - March 15, 2012 at 5:44 pmand wow word like astonishment
your busting my brain to think how to inprove it
I like your story I would find it scary finding a furry spider at the top of the stairs.
- Esme - March 20, 2012 at 11:36 amthat was a very good piece ogf writing i would like to have seen the spider.
- ellie - March 21, 2012 at 10:43 am