It was midnight carefully I got out of bed I went to check if my mum was asleep yes she was so I went and got dressed. I tiptoed down the stars there was an almighty squelch I shined the torch on whatever it was. It was a humongous white hairy fifty cm spider. Omg I have stepped in a spider I thought I pushed it aside and ran down stars. I got a gar and scoped it inside and put the lid on and put it in my study and stated to study it. I tested its blood and it was poisons I gasped.
Hello Emily,
I can see you have made good use of the five prompt words.
What a horrible way to find a fifty centimetre spider! It seems, from the story, you are a scientist because you were interested in studying the spider. That’s what I would want to do and have done with some spiders I’ve found, although the biggest I’ve found was a little less than 10cm. I’m glad I hadn’t found one the size of your spider.
Remember to check your writing. There were some places where you might have taken new sentences.
Well done, Emily. I enjoyed reading your story. I hope you keep entering the 100WC.
@RossMannell (Team 100WC)
- Ross Mannell (Team 100WC) - March 19, 2012 at 11:19 amTeacher, NSW, Australia